Unconditional love really exists in each of us. It is part of our deep inner being. It is not so much an active emotion as a state of being. It’s not ‘I love you’ for this or that reason, not ‘I love you if you love me.’ It is love for no reason, love without an object.
Like most of you, I do and have loved many times and in many ways throughout my life; each of these ways being completely unique, and valuable for their own reasons.
Now, in my current state of awakening, I am learning to look deeper into each and every one of these experiences to find the specific things to carry forward in my life that align with my true self. I find I ask this question frequently; what important lessons did I learn through these relationships?
The one lesson that is most prevalent, is that love is not really an emotion. It is a state of being. It exists within me without real reason – the light that guides me forward through every challenge I face.
Knowing this, I have been able to start recognizing the actions I already take and will continue to take that create this beautiful peace within me.
Here are some of the ways I have found to manifest joy through unconditional love.
1. Love Yourself – First and Always.
RuPaul Charles said it best:”If you can’t love yourself, how the hell you gonna love somebody else?”
Nothing is more inherently true. Learning how to find, honour and love your true self is the only path to existing in a state of pure joy. When every action you take aligns with what you truly believe, you are free.
2. Practice Forgiveness
When we feel wronged, often times our primary emotional response is anger or sadness.
These emotional responses, while completely justified, hold us captive in our own pain if we are not able to simply acknowledge them and then move on to something else that will actually achieve healing.
The best thing you can do when you feel wronged is to let yourself feel your anger or sadness. Recognize your pain. Talk about it with someone you love.
And then forgive the person who hurt you, so you can let it go.
This applies to things that you’ve done to hurt yourself, too.
There is no purpose to holding on to pain and suffering that an action from the past has caused you! You cannot affect what has happened in the past. All you have is this moment – right now.
Forgiveness embodies this idea of “living in the now”; by allowing yourself to stop existing in pain from the past, and to find the lesson to learn from this experience that will help you grow. Moving past our pain also allows us clarity to help avoid similar situations in the future.
3. Share Your Wisdom
One of the most precious gifts we have is knowledge. The fact that there are billions of people on this planet, all experiencing human existence through a completely unique lens, and that have the ability to communicate their experiences and lessons with one another, gives us all an unending stream of wisdom!
With this vast expanse of knowledge we as a species have accrued, the chances are very good that others have had similar experiences to yours, and may have insight to share that you haven’t gained on your own yet. Similarly, you may be able to offer another some enlightenment they haven’t experienced on their own.
Sharing our life experiences and lessons we learn from them creates connection with the rest of humanity.
You know that feeling you get when someone does something really nice for you? That warm feeling that fills your chest? That’s gratitude. We often forget, however, that gratitude is not only a response to an action.
You can be thankful for things that simply exist – or things that happened a long time ago! You can create that warm feeling in your chest by thinking about all the things you have and are now, and being grateful for them.
It’s human nature to strive for more; to always to be working towards a goal. Gratitude allows us to stop for a moment, look at what we’ve already done, and be proud.
What are you grateful for?
5. Get Comfortable with Being Uncomfortable
Change is imminent; it is the nature of our universe. Often, when we are feeling fearful or uncomfortable, it’s because change is required in some way.
The sooner you allow that discomfort to guide you to the necessary changes, the sooner you can move on to the next stages of life!
Embrace the discomfort and be open to to change; it will help propel you forward.
6. Let Go of Control
This one has been especially hard for me. Being someone who holds a lot of their own personal value in accomplishments, it is not easy to let go of control.
Simply put, the only thing we have control over, is our own actions and responses. Stress and anxiety often come into play when situations are outside of our own control, and we can’t do anything to change them.
If it’s not something you can action yourself right now… Let it go.
7. Be Kind
It’s really that simple. The world is a hard place to live in these days. We’re all struggling with our own pain, in our own ways. Though our issues may be different, they are valid to each of us.
Remember that, and be kind. You’ll find you will receive the same in return more often than not.
Being human is challenging. Maneuvering our own egos, emotional responses, and physical well being is fucking hard… Other humans are all trying to do those same things in their ways too. Sometimes the ways we do those things are different. Sometimes we haven’t learned how to do all of those things in the best way yet.
I try to remind myself daily that the percentage of humanity that have truly bad intentions is pretty small. Most of us are just trying to do the right thing, with the knowledge that we have right now.
The methods above have helped me stay in this place of love and understanding. I hope they provide the same for you.